This day in which paternity is celebrated can be very controversial for me, just as they are every day when I think and feel this subject.
I remember my father as a very special human being, whom I admire and love with all my heart and to whom I owe much of what I am today as a human being. In several moments of my life was very present but also in many others totally absent, here is a contradiction. But this is life as they say and must be understood and accepted; Although we must also fight to change it. When I was 16, it was my dad who gave me a box of condoms and told me that it was much better that I had them to make sure I used them when it was time, specifying that the time would be when I decided. Because that way he told me, I could protect myself and take responsibility over my body; And that was ultimately what he wanted for me. On that occasion my father was very much to the point, he told me things very clearly and without any curses; Which I thanked because it taught me the power to decide and because it is also how they should speak these issues, which in our cultures are issues that remain in silence, which are prohibited and that everyone is discovering how he can and not always the best way. On several occasions his words taught me and guided me. I remember how many times we discussed subjects until we almost fought for our different positions but always at the end of the talk there was that embrace that said everything. The man who transmitted my passion for reading, classical music, the arts, work, love for our people and our roots. The man I have seen so many times as his skin was filled with emotion or indignation. Of course when I was a little girl, my dad was the best of me, the one who knew everything about everything, the most handsome, funny and affectionate; Also one of the most angry and we could not contradict. The man who with a lot of work and with all his contradictions, mistakes and successes tried to be a good dad.
Then came the fathers of my son and daughter, who despite their contradictions, mistakes and success decided not to be responsible fathers, not to deal with their son and daughter leaving that space that for more that I would never manage to fill in reality, and here again the contradiction. Seeing my son and daughter without a father growing up has been very hard, but it’s also an experience of empowerment, personal growth and opportunity during which we have moved on and continue to move forward. But irresponsible paternity hurts, leaves holes. Social permissiveness to paternal irresponsibility is one of the strongest things that we must face every day.
Today my son became a father and with all his contradictions, mistakes and successes he has decided to be a responsible father with love and respect; And here again the contradiction, the contradiction of feelings for what a day like today can represent in the life of a person. But as I said to my son on his first father’s day, “responsible parenthood is a joyful duty, a learning and unlearning along the way, it is surprising and enjoy the small and great changes that we see appear every day in our children, is abundant creativity, patience, respect, is to guide with justice and equity, to share with joy and love. What a good son, that your son, has you as a father !!!!!! “